Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald’s stops serving breakfast.
Whenever I see people doing sign language, I assume they are discussing the best way to murder the rest of us and steal our ears.
Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!
My birthday is coming up. I dont like to think of it as getting older I like to think of it as experience points.
Hey.. The tequila I drank wants to tell you a secret.
H&R Block said I won`t get nearly as much back in taxes this year because apparently the neighbors want to claim their own children.
I was watching craps at the casino all night until security finally dragged me out of the bathroom.
If practice makes perfect, one day I will make the perfect mistake.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Dear ladies, Not trying to impress you or anything, but I make my own sandwiches.
I will never miss you, because I`m a really good shooter.
If your life ever seems boring just remember that you are on a rock floating in outer space.
Texting while sitting at a stop light: Helping save lives every day by preventing T-bone collisions with drivers who run red lights. Because of that extra minute it takes for you to realize that the light has turned green, the driver who has no regard for the safety of others entering the intersection legally, can now safely clear the intersection without causing a collision. For this, we thank you.
It`s always the rednecks that know all the inner most conspiracies of the government.
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.