Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
Not sure how coffee got its own table in the living room, but kudos.
Dramatically slamming a book shut upon finishing it was way more satisfying than switching my Kindle off and gently placing it on the table.
Whenever someone tries to get too friendly with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to remind them of where we stand.
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
Lady: what Colour are my eyes? Man: 34D
I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
Massaging the shoulders of the person in front of you at the Redbox machine will usually help them make up their mind faster.
Don’t piss off old people. The older they get, the less ‘life in prison’ is a deterrent.
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it`s important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
Rest area restrooms are weird. The guy in stall next to me has four feet.
A police officer just knocked on my door to tell me my dogs were chasing kids down the road on bikes.. Umm.. My dogs don`t even own bikes?
When in doubt, read Facebook Statuses, you`ll see you`re not the only crazy one around