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I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
Marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops.
Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she`ll get your paychecks.
A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
Unless your kids fundraiser is selling whisley, I`m not really interested
People in glass houses shouldn`t masturbate during the day....
Look Bruce, just because you call it the "Batcave" doesn`t change the fact that you still live in your parents basement.
I think my mailman is stealing my Nigerian lottery checks.
It looks like bathroom tai chi but it`s me trying to trigger the automatic paper towel dispenser.
I hate to call it "one night stands"... I prefer the term "auditions"
A fine is a tax for doing wrong...and a Tax is a fine for doing well
Life seemed more interesting when everyone owned a flask.
There’s no such thing as being ready for vacation to be over.