Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker.
People assume Iām smart when they see my glasses case. Then they see that I use it to store a Snickers bar and they recognize my true genius.
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
What idiot named them nostrils instead of scent vents?
A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they`ll do nicely"
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
You`ve been on more hotel pillows then chocolate mints.
Definition of insanity - Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results
The hostess said to sit wherever I want, but the couple at this table are giving each other weird looks and have totally stopped talking.
How long do I have to stand in front of the microwave for to become a member of X-Men?
"Do you have a charger?" is the new "Could I bum a cigarette?"
when god was giving out brains....you must have miss heard for trains..and missed your bugger
Curious that it`s always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.
Big shout-out to slugs for doing everything a snail does but without a helmet.
If the liquor store didn`t want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window.