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You’re going to make some cats very happy one day.
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
Kicking a man while he’s down burns 150 calories.
I dreamed about you last night, and so you know; Shame on you!!
Definition of insanity - Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results
New rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I`m guaranteed at least one attempt on trying to trip you.
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
You say hangover. I say out of booze.
There`s nothing like the laughter of a baby....unless you`re home alone at 1 am...and you don`t have children...
You should never answer your phone during sex, particularly if it`s your wife calling.
I`m sorry. . . I didn`t mean to stare. . . it`s just that I have never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before
MARRIAGE TIP: Don`t get fat.
Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360