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3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times, we just hug.
Ill be in my office giving co-workers the silent treatment ..by sending them blank emails.
Iām not a picky eater or anything but I will look at both sides of a Dorito before I eat it to decide if its got a good cheesy dust ratio.
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
Christmas spirit? I`m proud to say I`ve got plenty of that. I`ve got rum, whiskey, gin, brandy, vodka and tequila.
Yeah, sex is awesome. But have you ever put clothes on straight out of the dryer?
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
My therapist just offered me my money back.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness."
My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks
If I were Noah, Iād be grabbing two of every bottle of alcohol
I didn`t have access to Facebook for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"