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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
When you have the opportunity to become a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious.
Whew! Thank you warning label I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
According to my neighbor`s rooster, it`s 5am now. Also according to my neighbor`s rooster, we`re having fried chicken for dinner tomorrow.
Well, it`s almost the end of the year. No point in trying to become a good person this late in the game.
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
Don`t call me names, you don`t know enough words to describe me
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
Buy all your socks in one color - problem of the missing sock solved!
You don`t know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, and you take all the covers with you.
If offering people gum is cooking, then yes, I cook.
Tips for Guys on Valentine`s Day: Tell your girl you already got something and make her guess. She`ll automatically list things she wants.
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you