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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Are nap dates a thing? Because that`s something I can work with...
off to bed...evil schemes don`t dream themselves up.
If you could have all of Bill Gates` money or world peace, what colour would your Lamborghini be?
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
I only eat the entire pint of ice cream in one sitting so that I won`t be tempted to eat it later.
My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
I wonder how many 5 Hour Energy`s it would take to levitate?
Just convinced my Mom she won`t get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn`t see Teen Wolf first.
If practice makes perfect, one day I will make the perfect mistake.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
Roses are cars, violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Eyeballs.
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
Calories? I think you mean delicious points!
Orgasms are alot like pizza. As long as I have pizza I don`t really care if you don`t have any pizza.