Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The discharge paperwork at the hospital seems to be expedited a little quicker if you roam up and down the hall with the back of your hospital gown untied.
what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change.
The lack of a secret handshake makes me question the strength of our friendship.
That awkward moment when you realize this year is just going to be filled with morons talking about the end of the world the whole time.
Get real. No one’s going to form a single line if the building’s on FIRE.
There are two types of people in this world: people who pee in the shower and liars.
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
The average human uses less than 10 percent of the remote.
Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.
I feel so lazy.. Lazy as the guy who created the Japanese flag
You`ll notice you never see sweatpants with "Classy" written across the butt.
At funerals instead of crying, I tie the dead person’s shoe laces together. It’s not stupid. What if he comes back as a zombie?