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You know it`s time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
I`m going to buy a new dictionary. After watching Final Destination 5, I clearly don`t understand the meaning of Final.
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra.
How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
I was an adult once. Then I opened a Facebook account.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it´s still on the list.
May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
I`ll make better mistakes tomorrow.
I like to keep bartenders on their toes by making up drinks on the spot. "Yeah, I`ll take a Dirty Hammock."
If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they`d shoot her out of the sky with a drone.
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol at my house may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
Guys just want a virgin porn star and girls just want a dangerous safe guy.
Arguing in sign language must be a workout.