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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.
Got my friend a Starbucks gift card. 2 weeks later I get a call. They said hey Dean, u put any money on this Starbucks gift card. I said no it´s a gift card. That´s the beauty of it u can put as much money on it as u want.
One thing I`ve learned about women is they prefer that I don`t speak
If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
You can stay, but your clothes must go.
I used to be a terrible flirt ... I am much better at it now.
Maybe there`s no such thing as automatic doors, just gentlemen ninjas.
I think the Worst Part about admitting you are an Alcoholic ..is People expect you to Quit Drinking.
Wait,,,, What does it mean when my bride uses air quotes during the vows???
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
My goal in life: Build a time machine and travel forward into the future until I can stop and ask someone "Do you know what `buffering` is?" and they are clueless.
On a scale of 1-10, I give this day a middle finger.
"you failed just as much as your dads condom."
awesome collection!