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You can never read a doctor`s prescription, but you can sure read his bill
I like the parts of the day when food happens.
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
"The more the merrier!" usually means "oh, you overheard us making those plans, huh?"
You say stalker. I say unpaid private investigator.
Thank you Super Bowl for reminding all Americans how bad we really are at understanding Roman numerals
I have off-road rage, too
I am not cut out for the CIA. All the opposing side would have to do is tickle me and I’d spill all our nation’s secrets.
This recliner and I go way back.
Do strippers have nightmares where they are in front of a large crowd with their clothes on?
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
I don`t have a drinking problem, you have a problem with my drinking. Big difference.
A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that I’m married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.
Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.
You had me at 0 mutual friends