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My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
I noticed you stopped taking your meds. Can I have them?
As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
I`m not a doctor but I play one on Match.com
You drink too much, swear too much and your morals are questionable. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a friend.
The best thing about the internet is how quickly you can offend the maximum amount of people with minimum effort
Hearing jokes is always 100 times funnier when you have water in your mouth.
Seems like 2013 was just yesterday.
Screw love... I`d rather fall in chocolate.
Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
Shouldn`t the Air and Space museum be empty?
you know you have a kid personality when you think step brothers is the greatest movie ever.
What`s the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea? I never had a Garbanzo Bean on my face.
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not dogs with rabies though. Or killer bees or pretty much any domesticated animal into the wild. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don`t love anything.