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A world without women would be a pain in the a$$.
A lot of talk from the peasants lately about my arrogance.
Dear alcohol we had a deal where you were supposed to make me cool, sexy, charming and a great dancer........I seen a video......we need to talk.
I paid attention to the construction signs and got in the correct lane. You ignored them for miles and now you want me to let you in. Not gonna happen.
You know it`s a really good bar when there`s a couple outside breaking up.
I hate when I accidentally eat everything in sight.
Love your neighbor. But don`t get caught.
I`m no expert, but I would guess the internet really affected encyclopedia sales.
When people see ghosts, why aren`t they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?
I don`t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
I`ve stopped drinking for good. I only drink for evil now.
One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.
I think the lady at the movies is "shushing" me, but I can`t tell because I`m eating Doritos.
Iām not always rude. Sometimes Iām sleeping.
Leave a comment if you`ve started drinking. Hit the `Like` button if you`re already sh!tfaced. *Cheers*