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I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
Cashiers are always checking me out.
I really should learn to say "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"
The word bed looks like a bed.
There is no number for what just happened in that bathroom.
Ice cream is clearly God`s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
How to tell if your wife is mad at you - Step 1. She is
Why do people say "nice to meet you" before I`ve even said anything? How do you know it`s nice to meet me? I`m an a$$hole.
Do homeless people get Knock Knock Jokes?
Ghetto word of the day: "Bishop", My girlfriend fell down, So I picked that bishop.
I don’t necessarily believe in karma, but I’m gonna be extra careful crossing the street after this weekend.
I don`t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
It should really be called teethpaste.
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...
Apparently I`d rather debate in my mind whether or not to get up and pee than sleep.