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I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
Sorry I pissed you off, but I find you much more entertaining this way.
You can’t believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.
My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he`s attempting to get his hoodie back. He`s in for one hell of a life lesson.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
Sorry I said "What is it?" when you showed me your baby.
It’s amazing how long you can hold your farts at the beginning of a relationship.
Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile with my shoes….shoved up your a$$.
Maybe this comment wont be important for you guys here. Some of you will ignore it, most of yall wont bother to read and it`ll go unnoticed along with some others. maybe I`ll be criticized for this but I just want to let yall know I`m selling potatoes
If you mix vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia... Do you get a Phillips screwdriver?
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry
I am NOT high maintenance, I simply have more preferences than most.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can’t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
“Until death do us part,” means we will all be single in heaven, right?