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At long last, I`ve finished my research into the effect alcohol has on physical movement.....The results were, quite frankly, staggering.
I`d like to give a special thanks to my feet for supporting me and to my arms for being by my side at all times.
Happy July 22nd! Today isn’t a holiday, but you’re alive and well, so why not celebrate?
I wish the media and politicians would stop jumping to delusions.
A “buttload” of underwear would be exactly one pair.
If you don’t like being tailgated then don’t play movies I like.
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, "I`m not crazy!" and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
A colon is used to indicate a list of elements to the sentence preceding it. A semicolon is for making winky faces.
i wonder if fish get thirsty .
"With a stroke of a pen your name can live on forever in a quote!... Unknown,
You had me at "do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way to your place"
Eleanor Roosevelt once said "Do one thing every day that scares you" and that`s why I weigh myself in the mornings.
Hiding the bank statement from your husband is the adult version of hiding your report card from your parents.
Can you make garlic bread out of frozen waffles? Asking for someone who wishes they had remembered garlic bread at the store.
Does anybody know how many toddlers you have to bring to `Toys For Tots` before you`re eligible for an Xbox?