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There are two types of people in the world: 1. People who understand and appreciate sarcasm. 2. Morons.
"I`m $50 away from getting free shipping which is only $5 and what I want is $12 so I need to spend $38 more to save money." -my brain
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
That moment when you’re talking to yourself and you smile like an idiot, because you’re just so hilarious.
I sooo did not want to go on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere.
Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
Have you ever ate something so good that you do a little happy dance while your eating it?
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee`s, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!
Cleavage is like the sun, you can look... But its dangerous to stare
I`m painting a blue square in the backyard... so Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
Hello? HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet but you sent me a printer.
Anyone else pretend to work all day while thinking about big boobs instead?
i made a chicken salad the other day. little bastard didn`t even eat it.
You`re such a slut, the only reason why you wear panties is to keep your ankles warm.