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Does the Food Network deliver?
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
once a homeless guy said to me `Hey you got a dollar` and I said `wow your absolutely right..with psychic powers like that I`m surprised your still homeless` got in my car and left..
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
Woke up with my credit card lying on my keyboard. I can`t wait to see what drunk me bought sober me.
What do you get when you inject human DNA into a goat? Apparently banned from the petting zoo...
Has marriage been on Mythbusters yet?
You make your own luck`.. a saying most popular with lucky f*ckers
That awkward moment when the automatic flushing toilet goes off when you`re still sitting down.
Relationships, Marriages, work and children are what keep alcohol companies in business.
I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
I`ll never be to old to redecorate your garden gnomes in the middle of the night.
Understanding women number 476,395: Women like to talk about their feelings.
When my kid grows up they`re not aloud to date until they`re married.
Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?