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It`s all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
I don`t have an inner child. I have an inner old person who wants everyone to shut up.
Hiding from people at parties is my cardio.
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night. In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
Work like you don`t have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
Mark my words: In a year, the leading cause of death will be “Beaten to death with a selfie stick”
"Lets hang out sometime" -liars.
Where did all the people walking around with boomboxes in the 80s go? I`m concerned
heyy lol
Hash browns not tags.
I now have more electronic screens in my life than friends.
No matter how hard I try, I just never seem to run out of bad ideas.
Do you ever just look at someone and think "Wow, let me take off your pants."