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When someone is in a bad mood, I like to help matters by pointing out several times that they seem to be in a bad mood.
All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
It saddens me to say that after tasting this homemade whiskey/nacho cheese ice cream, I’ve found not all dreams are meant to be followed.
It`s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
people say i talk in my sleeep , but no one at work seems to notice
Never let your printer know you`re in a rush, those bastards smell fear
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
ATTENTION LADIES: I will now be downgrading expectations from someone I can love to someone I can tolerate. Act now while this amazing deal still lasts!
The only way I know if I`ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger
Opinions are like a$$holes: some people make money by posting them on the internet.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I only had to do it like 3 times a week. This every day thing is overkill.
ooooh boy, Mother`s Day hangovers...always the worst huh?!
I don`t understand why people pay therapists when I`ll tell them what`s wrong with them for free.
Common sense has become so rare it should be classified as a superpower.