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WebMD needs to add the question "Have you eaten Taco Bell today?" when asking about stomach-related symptoms.
(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
Now that my kids are getting older, I`m worried I`ll never have the opportunity to leave my wife for the nanny.
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become
My friend sent his wedding invitation from Facebook Event. I sent him a gift from Farmville.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains is great news for stupid people.
"Why do you hate me"? I say as I attempt to hold my cat like a baby
Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
Sometimes I`ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I`ll be like, "oh no, that can`t be right."
Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don`t have to share.
The most impressive thing about how cowboys used to have showdowns at high noon is that they could get two people to be on time to something
Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don`t want to look like a dork.
I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
One fun way to describe Facebook is “imagine you are a mind reader in Walmart.”