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Guy asked me where a public phone was. I told him 1987.
Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and a crappy party host.
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!
What idiot called it Adderall instead of Accomplish Mints?
There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no coffee. And without coffee, I`ll kill you all.
So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, sex with strangers. You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad"
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet !
But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
I need to do laundry so bad I`m actually wearing Christmas stockings
If you smell Axe body spray on your lawyer,, you`re going to jail.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
You don`t know true competition until you`re one of the last two people in musical chairs.
We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we`re terrified people in real life will find us on the internet