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Your secrets are safe with me, because I probably wasnβt listening to begin with.
I can`t believe it`s been a year since I didn`t become a better person....
I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn`t be oppressed.
I`m glad it`s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
Every now and then when I`m in a room alone I say out loud, "I know you`re listening". If I`m wrong, nobody knows. If I`m right, I just freaked the hell out of some guy.
My favorite flavor of ice cream is yes.
I really don`t have time for people that don`t find me hilarious.
Every club is a strip club, if you have the money. Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you have the balls.
I would like to be a Disney Princess...You know, where I have random animals showing up to help with the housework!
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
Leaving a watermelon on someoneβs doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
Due to the rising cost of ammunition I will no longer be able to provide a warning shot. Thanks for your understanding.
Mosquito`s and parking inspectors must be from the same family...
Get Dora and Boots on this missing plane case now, Dora solves the case everytime