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The weekend went by and I don’t remember any of it. That’s a good thing right?
My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food, drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere. After that we NEVER played monopoly again.
Back in my day, we had to remember phone numbers and give people directions and don`t get me started on the dinosaurs.
My New Years Resolution is to be less vain. It`s going to be difficult though, considering how sexy I am.
My worst fear is seeing one of my statuses marked as "exhibit A"
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
"Paypal me your lunch money!" -Cyber Bullies
My favorite part about your rant on how much you hate social media sites was when you posted it from a social media site.
You`re not the sharpest knife in my back.
I need to find a job where I am paid solely on how awesome I am.
Before bed, my Dad would always say, "OK son, time to hit the sack." Not sure how me punching him in the balls helped him sleep, but hey, that’s my Dad for ya.
Home: The place where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!
I quit beer every time I wake up hung over
Elevator music bothers me on so many levels