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3 things I will never understand: 1. The meaning of life. 2. The universe. 3. How Spongebob & Patrick made those sounds effects in that box.
Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls.
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi
It`s cute how my wife thinks I can read her mind when I can`t even dress the kids properly.
Be friend with stupid people.., feel like genius all the time
I should`ve married myself. I`ve never said no to sex. Not once. Not one single time ever.
Technically, I don`t have to do anything until my wife wakes up and realizes I`m not doing anything.
Remember…it’s only embarrassing if you care what people think.
The nice thing about being a guy is your underwear only costs $10 for a 3-pack.
Uses 3 gallons of water to rinse out yogurt container so it can go into recycling bin
The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
“I’m not washing it, I’m just gonna shove it in a pony.” If you’re a girl, that sentence is actually ok.
If you still can read this, please inform me ASAP because I have probably blocked the wrong person!
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!