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Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
Mazda’s marketing slogan is “We Build Mazdas.” They decided on it after rejecting others like: “Mazdas Are Cars” and “Buy Mazdas With Money”
Don`t exercise ... fat people are harder to kidnap
Since my girlfriend has gotten pregnant alot has changed... Like my name, address and telephone number.
I can walk up to any dog, rub its belly and make a friend ... That trick rarely works on people.
Why do crutons come in resealable bags? Are we really worried about them going stale?
That moment when you put your pants on, take a few steps, and feel something crawling down your leg! You grab it on the outside so it doesn`t crawl any further....and then you sigh in relief and thank God the dryer sheet doesn`t bite!
None of the animals I designed and invented are at the zoo. Do they even check the suggestion box?
Facebook: an alternative to drunk dialing.
No way the guy from Operation is insured for any of those ridiculous medical procedures.
Don`t apologize because you haven`t posted in a while. No one cared.
The key to a long relationship: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
If your girlfriend has $15 and you have $30, your girlfriend actually has $45.
people say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but it`s the only way I can talk to you.
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.