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I pack an hour before leaving for a trip but unpacks 3 months after coming home
"That`s crazy" is the perfect response when you haven`t been listening.
The realization you`ve spoken too loudly when you exclaimed: " My Salad had NUTS!"
Life would be so much better if there were piñatas strategically placed throughout my day.
Does anyone have the recipe for ice cubes? Asking for a friend.
If your lawyer has a ponytail, you`re going to jail
I never forget a breast, I mean face. I never forget a face.
Hmmm… Who should I stalk on Facebook now? :)
It`s hard to feel sorry for people when they get what they deserve.
People are way less judgmental when you say you had an "avocado salad" instead of saying you ate a bowl of guacamole.
I just keep telling myself you guys don`t have sex either.
According to WebMD, MedicineNet, Healthline, Mayo Clinic, Symptom Checker, NetDoctor, MedlinePlus, Johns Hopkins and InfoMedNet, I`m OCD.
Ummm,, Can we just admit we may have taken this anybody can grow up to be President thing a bit too far.
Making good decisions doesn’t really go with my outfit.
With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.