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If it weren`t for WebMD I would have never known what symptoms to mimic so I could get all these prescriptions from my doctor.
Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, “Are you sure you want to leave this page?”
Back in my day, we had to remember phone numbers and give people directions and don`t get me started on the dinosaurs.
For your anniversary, if your wife asks for something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds...don`t get her a bathroom scale. Just sayin"
Whoa! Thank you warning label! I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
Now that Microsoft`s Steve Ballmer has bought the Clippers, I wonder if he will release a new version every few years that we all hate.
Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger`s property and make a non-negotiable demand.
Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they`re the problem is the other half.
Today is the first day of the rest of my Vodka.
I need a leaf blower, but for people.
I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts “Batman” when he’s drunk. I know I do.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
<-- Is my name! Isn`t it awesome!?
Like a good neighbor,I don`t really care.
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.