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I`m not sure where you learned to whisper but I`m guessing inside a helicopter surrounded by f*cking chainsaws.
Why I don’t like people: 1% logical reasons. 99% just because.
That awkward moment when you run into someone and there`s no where to hide
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don`t have iPhone. 2) I don`t have a girlfriend.
Shout out to sidewalks. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
is currently amending my "Who gets money" list when I win the lottery ... who has something nice to say?
Life…it’s just an “F” in lie.
You know you are getting old when a bunch of annoying teenagers get murdered in a horror movie and you relate more with the killer.
I think my TV remote has developed some sort of Romulan cloaking technology.
A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.
This is the only way I know how to correctly use a semi-colon ;)
I hate it when I open Facebook and miss a week of work.
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?