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As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
Collecting my thoughts… I almost have a whole set! ;)
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
Currently helping my girlfriend look for her chocolates that I ate 5 hours ago...
Autocorrect is a great feature, but it can also be your worst enema.
Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
Grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and a big-a$$ed pitcher of margaritas as “Plan B”
Sorry, I didn`t get your text...Just kidding, I ignored that sh!t.
90% of adulthood is just deleting emails.
There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
You know it`s a really good bar when there`s a couple outside breaking up.
I’ve thought about running away as an adult way more than I did as a child.
Now that there is no FBI director we can finally make copies of VHS tapes
When I am working, I get paid to be nice. I don`t understand why my friends and family expect me to do it for free during my time off.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.