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WebMD needs to add the question "Have you eaten Taco Bell today?" when asking about stomach-related symptoms.
When the zombie apocalypse hits, I know EXACTLY who I`m tripping first...
My 14 year old sent a text asking me to pick her up from school and added "not in your pajamas". So I`m wearing hers because good moms listen.
I`m more confused than a valet parking attendant at a Mary Kay convention.
Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.
Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?
I`m sorry but, I could not hear you over the sound of my internal hope that you would shut the f*ck up.
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
Stop complaining about being single!!, we have bigger problems here. Like why McDonalds don`t serve breakfast after 10:30 -.-
Checked my bank balance at the ATM and was happy to see I had 707 dollars in it until I realized I was holding the receipt upside down and it said LOL instead.
I can’t find the words to express how I have nothing to say
I should go to sleep but the Internet needs me.
I`m no expert, but I would guess the internet really affected encyclopedia sales.
The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)