Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying free samples at the grocery store. Just make sure they’re samples. And free. And it’s a grocery store.
One time I asked some girl what she was thinking. By the time she finished her thought we had 2 children.
If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."
A cop just pulled me over -- asking if I knew my tail light was out? I said, `Uh uh. I drive on the inside of my car`
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.
Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger`s property and make a non-negotiable demand.
Hit me with your pet shark #RuinAn80sSong
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
Who ever said, "The customer is always right", clearly never worked with the public a day in their life.
The nice thing about being a guy is your underwear only costs $10 for a 3-pack.
Yet another advantage of being single. All I bring to Thanksgiving is empty Tupperware...
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
It really pisses me off when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you