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Screw Folgers, the best part of waking up is knowing I survived last night`s drinking.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles?
A fun way to give your man a little scare is to ask him, "Do you know what tomorrow is?" and watch the panic set in.
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
I`m a passionate supporter of things that don`t inconvenience me or require any type of action or physical effort.
"The secret is that it`s all in the wrist!" -My grandfather talking about golf or handjobs or something
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
When it`s raining I don`t work, when its sunny I don`t work, when its cloudy I call in sick!
So, which one of you is going to be the subject of your local news` annual turkey fryer accident story?
My beard itches, Web MD: Beard cancer
As you get older your Christmas list gets shorter, because the things you want can`t be bought.
At least I know it wasn`t just me that was wondering if the cashier was a man or a woman. I just wish that my 5 year old didn`t ask.
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!
I could actually watch golf on TV if Land Mines were involved.