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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I joined weight watchers last month, so far I lost 38 dollars...
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
Dear Mother Nature, I would like to cancel my monthly subscription please… Urs Sincerely, 100% OF ALL WOMEN IN THE WORLD!
figured out today that my GPS has auto-correct....I put in "Beach house" and ended up in my ex`s driveway.
Really discouraging that there`s still bald people in sci fi movies.
I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It`s like they don`t know I plan on cropping them out later.
Is it so much to ask that everyone who ever wronged me be forced to leave the country and change their identity?
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
Something tells me that girl with the word "Princess" tattooed on her neck isn`t really Royalty.
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
Curling irons have a warning tag that says β€œFor External Use Only.” Which of you sick mofos made that necessary?
just realised MR OWL ATE MY METAL WORM is exactly the same backwards
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?