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The majority of life`s greatest lessons are learned while observing your drunk friends.
People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
If someone says you used too much butter or cheese on something, stop talking to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity
I just wanted you all to know that I’m leaving Facebook. This ride has been a blast and I’ve made a ton of friends who I really do consider friends in the truest sense. Your humor and wit is amazing. I’ll miss all of you, but I’ve decided I need to spend more time with my family. So... see you after breakfast
But in my most troublesome times, I looked down and saw only one set of footprints. I asked the Lord why, and He replied that sand people ride single file to hide their numbers.
I`m getting sick of seeing all these lyric status`s, it reminds me of somebody that I used to know.
People should seriously stop expecting normal from me...We all know it`s never gonna happen
Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone
God made men. But sandwiches weren`t going to make themselves. So God made women.
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low…Well, sure, it’s hard to steal a car when the owner’s living in it…
Be good ... or I will text Santa
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
You know it was a good sh!t when you come back and your screensaver is on.
The worst part of owning an invisibility cloak is trying to remember where you hung it up.
This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date, so after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents` house