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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
Was born with a rare condition called "Amazing"
I don`t like Instagram. It reminds me that somewhere people are doing stuff. I just don`t need that kind of pressure.
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven`t died yet.
If the shoe fits, wear it. Unless they`re not yours. But you can still were them. It`s just a road test, after all.
The number one reason why trick or treating is better than sex is, you can do the whole neighborhood.
I`m not always rude. Sometimes I`m sleeping.
Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, The shaking icons make me feel like they`re all panicked over who`s getting deleted.
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes, could you pick me up some booze on your way back?
They`re all cop cars when you`re this high.
Line forms here for spankings
PARENTS: your teen may be worshipping Satan. Look for these terms: LOL - Lucifer Our Lord, BRB - Burn Religious Books, TBH - Tell Beelzebub Hi
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting.
I have nothing!
My Son: The marriage vows say "tell death do us part", so we are not married in heaven ? Me: That`s right son, cause if we were still married, we`d be in hell.