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A zombie apocalypse sounds even worse when you consider all those smoke detectors beeping for battery changes.
So if one was to type ‘idiot’ into Google, would your picture come up?
Let`s sleep in until it`s time to go to bed again
You Are The Reason My Middle Finger Was Created.
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting...
Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said "May I please have a cigarette?". I can`t believe kids this age are already so polite.
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange.
I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren`t there.
30 seconds left on the microwave ~ Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone ~ Men: do the space shuttle countdown
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
I like to say my kid handles funds for a multi-billion dollar corporation. It`s easier than saying he is a cashier at McDonald`s
My local news station says it gives us " news when it breaks " ...I want unbroken news!!
Bill Gates: A billi a billi a billi JayZ: Half billi half billi half billi Lil Wayne: A milli a milli a milli Me: A dollar a dollar a dollar
My pet rock turned 4,054,870,001 today