Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist....
Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I`d like to bring a guest.
Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls.
Never trust anyone who smiles this early in the morning.
Guys, if my hair doesn`t look like a birds nest afterward, you`re doing it wrong.
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
Why do people ask "What were you thinking?" Obviouly, I thought I was going to get away with it!
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it`s that everyone speaks English after they die.
why would anyone want a baby? It`s just another thing you have to clean
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
I would be a terrible stalker because A) I`m not motivated enough B) You would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
What`s this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?
I just called my boss and told him I have explosive diarrhea. It’s my day off, but I like to keep him informed.