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Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
The best thing about not being with you, is not being with you.
President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to "learn what it means to work." May I suggest the same for members of Congress?
Don`t ever, ever EVER!!! Touch a crazy man`s food!!! I will STAB YOU WITH A SPOON!
If the shampoo and conditioner in her shower are not the same brand GET THE F*CK OUT, SHE`S A MAN!
I Don’t answer text messages right when I get them so I don’t seem desperate. Then, I forget about them and never respond.
Is snaxting a thing? Texting each other pics of your snacks? Cause I feel like I’d be pretty good at that.
Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days.
Eventually, the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphics.
Don`t you just want to write on some people`s Facebook wall "you peaked in High School".?
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.
Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
What`s wrong with having your mind in the gutter all the time?! If it weren`t for the gutter, my mind would be homeless!!!