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I love hearing rumors about me...that`s how I find out what I`ve been doing.
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
Yadot rorrim eht fo edis gnorw eht no pu ekow I. (I woke up on the wrong side of the mirror today.)
It`s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
I`m glad it`s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
"Baby on Board" Oh really? Thanks for letting me know. I was about to ram into your car but now I won`t.
Always be yourself, unless you suck…and if you suck you should try being more like me.
Here`s to ignoring our real problems and getting outraged about something on the internet.
What idiot called it Adderall instead of Accomplish Mints?
I’m not the friend you put on speaker phone.
It`s a bad sign when your credit card bill has a comma and your bank statement doesn`t!
I don`t make enough money to go on vacation so I`m just going to get drunk this weekend until I don`t know where I am.
I took a 5hr energy today. they`re right about being able to multitask because it made me puke and poop at the sametime..
When I get married I plan on introducing my spouse as my ex-fiancé just to mess with people.
Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?