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I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.
If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet.
Fun Fact: if you took the skin of an average person and laid it out flat,you would have enough for a serious criminal conviction :)
If you eat it in the car before you get home, it never existed.
My friends are the type of friends that if my house was on fire, they would be over here with marshmallows and hitting on the hot fireman!
Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life.
i know how to shutup.I just don`t know when.
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
Advice of the day: Don`t go trick or treating at the bank. They get freaked out. Especially when it`s not Halloween
I`m off to bed. For those of you who wish to add a touch of authenticity to your fantasies, the sheets are pale blue...
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like "Ugh, tourists".
If you watched the story of my life backwards, you`d see an incredibly inspirational story about hair growth, weight loss, and vastly improved athletic ability.
Stay Calm, take a breath, and reload.