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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
Most problems can be solved with nudity
I’m a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity.
Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
My RSVP : I`ll be attending your wedding alone but consuming enough cake and alcohol for at least two.
The 21st century. When deleting history is more important than making it.
The easiest way to get over someone is with a steamroller.
If I didn`t procrastinate, I probably wouldn`t do anything at all.
Lol at birds that walk places.
Can you do me a favour? Stand in front of my car, I need to test my brakes.
Guy advice #221: Starting a load of laundry in the washing machine and then starting a load in the dryer counts as `2 loads` - just sayin`!
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
I would unblock you but then I`d be admitting I`d made a mistake and that`s just not my thing.
I have four missed calls from my mom. A rescure team is gonna break down my door and find me sitting on my couch in my underwear eating cheetos any minute now.
Campers: Nature`s way of feeding mosquitoes.