Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found.
In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man.
is "insert clever remark here."
I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look. That one is shaped like an idiot
When I was growing up the TV was my nanny.
This earthquake was the first time that I`ve ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."
Sometimes I find myself envious of how well Waldo can hide..
I don’t think girls realize how handsome my mom says I am.
You know you had a good night when you have to Google map yourself in the morning to find out where the hell you are.
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming
I`d like to change and get comfy, yet that requires effort. Ever feel this lazy?
Uses 3 gallons of water to rinse out yogurt container so it can go into recycling bin
It`s remarkable how much I can get done out of sheer spite.
It seems racist that they call it Black Friday just because a bunch of people are trying to get into stores in the middle of the night.
My dance moves are somewhere between “dog being shocked by an electric fence” and “squirrel crossing the road.”