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I just found out that checking your credit score actually LOWERS your credit rating. Seriously? That`s like every time you look in the mirror, you get a little bit uglier.
I don`t hate anyone. I just don`t like people.
Sorry I stopped listening to your story when it wasn’t about me
Guys... If the girl your getting down with doesn`t even have time to fake an orgasm..... It`s prob best you just make your sandwich
I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems.
Never judge a book by it`s movie.
To all my Facebook friends. Have a happy St. Patrick`s day, and all the festivities this weekend. Stay safe, enjoy life, and if you by chance happen to find a bartender who is bad at math...give me a call :)
I don`t know, guys. The whole "play dead when a bear attacks" thing sounds suspiciously like something the bears would come up with...
Hey ladies, you know that feeling you get when you roll over & realize you made a horrible mistake? I could give that to you every day.
Tired of those Political Ads on television?...... You may be entitled to compensation.
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid...
We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile. Then we’ll be new friends all over again.
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I`m left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that`s cheating?