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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Making everyone happy is impossible. But pissing them off is a piece of cake. I really like cake.
Wow!!! Thank you guy on Facebook I went to high school with and haven`t spoken to in 14 years, you really changed my mind about this upcoming election....
I want to be something scary for Halloween so I am going as a positive pregnancy test......
If I pat you on the back, there`s a 99% chance that I`m only using you as a napkin
Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I’m “the one,” but isn’t talking to a police officer.
i hope your life is as long and useful as this roll of toilet paper!!!
What doesn`t kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
My kids are always accusing me of having a favorite child which is ridiculous because I don`t really like any of them.
Happy St. Patrick`s Day! I was going to drink anyway!
When I grow up I wanna be a psychiatrist for the mentally insane...so i can find out what the hell is wrong with you people
Stop Instagramming words. I`m not following you for your thoughts. Take off your f*cking shirt.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
Just because nobody complains doesn`t mean all parachutes are perfect.
I really think my life would be a lot better if my fitness app would just lower its standards