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Ran out of post-it notes, now I don`t know how to remind myself to buy more.
Honk if you are reading this.
I love how in movies when someone types a really embarrassing secret they always accidentally send it to the whole school, and they also coincidentally have the phone number of everyone.
if I was a bird, I know who I´d poop on first.
You know you`re old when all of the bands you listened to growing up have several greatest hits albums.
Sometimes, I wonder if the weather app on my phone even looks outside.
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
It’s pretty scary that before facebook… All these thoughts and stuff just stayed in peoples heads.
Good things come to those who wait ... Which explains why I`m always late.
An empty web browsing history is a sure sign of guilt.
Sad life : After watching 2 seconds of Spongebob I already know what episode it is ... I`m 41
Never piss off the person that cooks your dinner ... EVER!
I may be too old to cut the mustard, but I can still cut the cheese.
Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
The majority of life`s greatest lessons are learned while observing your drunk friends.