Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m what you would call “indoorsy”
I like people. I just don`t want them talking to me. Or breathing near me. Or making me look up from my phone.
Do you suppose prison guards could use `PROACTIV` to prevent outbreaks?
My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.
I`m 42 years old and I still have no idea what I would do if a kangaroo entered my bedroom in the middle of the night.
My favorite all time cooking shows: 1. Iron Chef 2. Hell`s Kitchen 3. Breaking bad
There`s a reason why natural disasters have female names.
It`s so cold out I`ve turned 50 Shades Of Blue!
Dear future boyfriend/girlfriend, where the hell are you?
My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
Women who tell me I have commitment issues have never seen me with a large pizza.
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.
I just realized that Mr. Rogers had the first man-cave.
love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.
If you’re a douchebag, it’s so easy to find the right hat.