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I’m at Code 5 today. I don’t know. It’s something this lady in the coffee shop said and I liked it. So now I’m using it, too.
I like candlelit dinners, long walks on the beach and hardcore pornography.
I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
According to physics heat makes matter expand.....therefore I don`t have a weight problem....I`m just hot
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my credit card goes through
Live life to its fullest even if that means eating everything in the fridge
Mission Impossible: Ordering something at Subway without saying, "ummmm".
If by "help decorate the tree" you mean drinking beer on the couch yelling out everything you`re doing wrong, then yeah, count me in.
I`m beginning to think they invented the wireless mouse just so there was one less thing to use to hang yourself with at work.
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
Like many people, I used to want to be famous, but after this year, I`m quite happy to be have been such a failure.
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 thumbs up we`ll try anal. So please don`t vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
Man:Hello doc, my wife is having a baby. Doctor:Is this the first child? Man:No, it`s the husband speaking.