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If others are jealous, you’re doing something right.
The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
I don`t know who you are, but if you don`t stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will smack you with it
People who say, “Happy New Year” to you on the 4th of January are not really your friends.
No thanks, cardio, this pot of coffee will get my heart rate up just fine
Why would you live in a place where the air hurts your face?
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
People who don`t understand sarcasm are awesome.
I`m going to switch my car insurance from Geico to Allstate, then to Statefarm, then back to Geico. If my calculations are correct, they should owe me $837
That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn`t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn`t brushed her teeth in forever.
I just realized that Mr. Rogers had the first man-cave.
I failed my driver`s test. For the question "What do you do at a Red Light?" I said "Text and check Facebook."
If I had a time machine, I`d just keep going back every 8-9 hours so I could sleep more.