Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My New Year`s resolution is to spend more time wishing my enemies were dead.
It’s silly how we spend money on clothes when naked is free.
Racism, sexism and homophobia make no sense when there are so many perfectly good stupid people to hate.
I helped my girlfriend with the dinner last night. I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
Just been informed that my spirit animal is Eeyore.
North West? Im confused i thought Kim Kardashian gave birth to a child not a compass
Some people should calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
I Got so Drunk Last Night ,.I Walked Across the Dance Floor to Get Another Drink, and I Won the DANCE COMPETITION...!!
It`s hard to trust people. Even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
*during sex,I suddenly stop moving* Her: What are you doing? Me: SHHHHH It`s ok...I saw this on Pornhub, It`s called Buffering!
A new day : the possibilities, endless. the funds, insufficient.
Key to a Happy Life: Get a job where people ask, “You actually get paid for doing this?”
Bank called asking if my credit card had been stolen. They were concerned because it hadn`t been used at the liquor store since Friday.
Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.