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Couldn`t stop thinking about that drought on the west coast while I was watering my driveway today.
More often than not, the excitement of a Facebook friend request dies upon discovering who it is.
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
It`s great how you have legs that can take you away from a conversation when you don`t feel like listening to people anymore
a friend will calm you down when you`re angry a best friend will run beside you with a baseball bat shouting, "somebody`s gonna get it!"
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
Why is it that whenever I have to turn around in a strange driveway, I feel like they`re gonna come running out with pitchforks and torches?
You know that awkward moment when you thought someone`s talking to you so you reply to them , then they look at you weird .
Huh, So you are telling me that these straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress? And not for what I`ve been using them for all this time?
I don`t hate you, it`s just, if you were on fire. I would roast marshmallows.
I`m not saying your cat doesn`t care about you, I`m saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well.
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
I`ve found a new coping mechanism....................COOKIES!
You know you are desperate for an answer when you look at the second page of Google.
A friend of mine asked if I was coming to her wedding. I said no, I`ll catch the next one. She`s mad at me now.