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There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
If you can read this please let me know – because it means I blocked the wrong person.
In my defense, I was left un-supervised...
GF: "You`re cute when you`re drunk" Me: "You`re cute when I`m drunk too"
I don`t know why I don`t buy more piñatas. Like right now I would love to beat the shit out of something and then eat a bunch of candy.
Apparently, I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
Frankly auto correct,I`m getting tired of your shirt.
Vampire selfies are just phones floating in front of bathroom mirrors.
I`m at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I`m usually fine with going home.
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
Whoever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard.
You know you had an awesome night when you need sunglasses to get food out the fridge.
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.