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No I don`t think you`re stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
The pollen is so bad this year that the people in the trailer parks are turning their crystal meth back into Sudafed.
Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?
I really think that Caller ID needs to be more detailed. It should say things like "Wants help moving" or "Will whine about bad relationship."
This one isnt that funny, keep scrolling.
Not All Of The `Goodbyes` Are Sad (eg. * Goodbye School * Goodbye Work)
There are 2 kinds of people: 1) Happy morning people 2) Cranky morning people that fantasize about killing the happy morning people
Life is like “Facebook” – People will like your problems & comment; But no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.
Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio.
I spend 800% of my life exaggerating.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they`re going to put you in one.
When children shy away, I say, "I don`t bite. Not hard anyway!" Then I laugh and bite them hard. They need to understand life`s not easy.
I hope everyone takes my advice and never takes my advice.
Guys communicate by insulting each other, but don’t really mean it. Girls communicate by complimenting each other, but don’t really mean it.
My newsfeed looks like a cross between a Civil War Soldier and ZZ Top photo album.